Friday, July 31, 2009

Loup Garou Hunter Opens Up

On Monday the truth of the loup garou legend will be unveiled at the Lyric theater on the Square. Captured on film, the "Night of the Loup Garou" tale is sure to terrify. On the eve of the big hunt, I had the opportunity to meet one of the main players in this sordid werewolf story, Ernie Sokolov.

Ernie is known as Russia's premiere big-game hunter. He will soon travel to Taylor to hunt the nightmarish beast that has been slaughtering cows. Ernie talked to us about Oxford women, Russian discos and this Dax Wingo fellow that knows a thing or two about loup garou. After reading the Q&A below, join us on Monday at 7 p.m. at The Lyric. You may even get a chance to meet Ernie, that is, if the loup garou doesn't get him.

Q: Ernie, I've heard much of your accomplishments as a hunter. Tell me, what is your secret?

A: I have no secret that I share. I use only machete and mind of hunter. I become animal.

Q:How did you become involved with the loup garou hunt that is about to take place in Taylor?

A: I am hired by Dr. Doug Clark. He is not so simple to think we make friends with The Beast. He knows to understand it, we must kill it. Then you look down at dead beast and say, “You think you smart? I urinate on your head.”

Q: Do you believe in the myth of the loup garou or is it just some crazy kids?

: I have seen The Beast. It is very real, my friend.

Q: We've heard rumors of this Dax Wingo fellow. What do you know of him? Is he just a nut job?

A: Dax Wingo is not a man. He likes to prance through woods with his New York glasses, say “look at me, I’m so smart pants.” And then he poop pants when the beast comes. I say nothing else.

Q: If the loup garou is real, how you do propose he can be captured and will it be alive?

: He can not be capture alive. I will kill him, drink his blood, and make head into hood ornament to my Hummer.

Q: Tell me how you made it to America? You are from Russia, correct?

A: I get plane ticket from Doug Clark. I work as security at – how you say? – disco in Moscow. I am bored. He say, “Come kill beast,’’ and say, “Ok, I kill beast.’’ He pay me in Levi blue jeans and cigars.

Q: Is your family still in Russia?

A: My mother. My father was eaten alive by wolves when I am boy. This was a bad day. I no like wolves.

Q: How have you enjoyed your time in Mississippi so far? You have been preparing for the hunt in Oxford correct?

A: The Southern women like my hat and glasses. They like when I talk of The Hunt. I may buy one and take her back to Moscow to work in disco and dance on pole.

Q: What are your plans after the hunt? Will you leave the U.S.?

A: I have timeshare in the Ukraine. I get some champagne, cigars and relax on my new Loup Garou rug. Remember, what I say before hunt: It’s time to rock ‘n roll like the Mickey Mouse!

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