Monday, August 17, 2009


Joe returns this week to answer some of Oxford's most pressing questions. Forget therapy, forget your life coach . . . Joe will set all your problems straight.

There is this guy at my gym who always farts when he’s on the treadmill. I try and move but it’s getting to be ridiculous. Do I say something to him?

Dave, 23. Memphis

It's obvious this guy is extremely inconsiderate so saying something to him would be futile. Go take a shit in his gym bag.

Joe, I fake it with my husband all the time. Should I feel bad? Lately I’m just not into it.

-- Nameless, 29. Oxford

You shouldn't feel bad at all. More than likely he's pretending you're someone else. Maybe you should do the same.

What are your top five beers?

-- The Velvet Ditch

Chimay-Red Label. Shipyard Prelude, La Fin Du Monde, Guinness, and Budweiser.

Joe, I hooked up with a real ugly chick the other night. The problem is that I see her every weekend at the Grocery. How do I play it off without being a dick? -- James, 33. Oxford

It's practically impossible. Unless she's stalking you, there's no reason to be a dick. Get one of your buddies drunk enough to [Velvet Ditch inserts: "make love to"] her and he'll take on the brunt of the embarrassment.

No comments:

Post a Comment